MAKE IT LAST FOREVER...

JAMES AND ALL HIS PUSHY WAYS, PUSHED HIS WAY INTO MY LIFE A GOOD 14 YEARS AGO. AFTER A STINT AS BEST FRIENDS I ENDED FALLING IN LOVE WITH THIS GUY. OF COURSE I FELL BECAUSE HE PUSHED ME. LOL. BUT ITS NOT ABOUT THE JOURNEY BUT THE DESTINATION, RIGHT? NEEDLESS TO SAY I FELL AND STILL FALL FROM TIME TO TIME.

AFTER A FEW UPS AND DOWNS AND 2 KIDS AND BEING TOGETHER FOR 10 YEARS WE FINALLY GOT MARRIED. RECENTLY LEBRON JAMES MARRIED HIS HIGH SCHOOL AFTER ABOUT 10 YEARS, WHO HE HAS 2 KIDS WITH. I AM NOT PARTICULARLY A FAN OF KING JAMES. (I'M FROM L.A. AND AM A KOBE LOYALIST.)  BUT BOY DO I LOVE THAT COUPLE! THEY ARE SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL.

BECAUSE THEY ARE SO SIMILAR TO ME AND JAMES ( OH WOW EVEN THE NAME) I FEEL LIKE I KNOW ABOUT WHAT THEY'VE GONE THROUGH. I FEEL AS IF I KNOW THEIR STORY AND THAT IT  HASN'T BEEN THE EASIEST TO GET THE POINT OF MARRIAGE. ESPECIALLY WITH HIM RISING TO FAME AND THE STRUGGLE THAT COMES ALONG WITH ALL THAT. ITS HARD TO LOVE SOMEONE AS THEY CHANGE FROM A CHILD INTO AN ADULT. I KNOW IT TAKES A LOT OF LOVE AND COMMITMENT TO KEEP COMING BACK TO EACH OTHER AND TO CHOOSE TO STAY TOGETHER.

HATS OFF TO THE TWO OF THEM. LEBRON HAS BEEN SHARING PICS FROM THEIR HONEYMOON ON HIS INSTAGRAM AND THE LOVE HE HAS FOR HER SEEMS LIKE TYPE OF LOVE THAT COMES FROM APPRECIATION. A REALLY REALISTIC, MATURE KIND OF LOVE. BELIEVE YOU, ME I KNOW ALL ABOUT IT.

CONGRATS TO THE BEAUTIFUL COUPLE.

MUSIC MONDAY #1

LETS GET TO THE MUSIC...

EVERY MONDAY I AM GOING TO SHARE SOME MUSIC . IT MAY BE MUSIC I'VE BEEN LISTENING OR SOMETHING THAT I REALLY LIKE, MAYBE  SOMETHING I JUST HEARD THAT MADE ME FEEL A CERTAIN WAY. SO ON AND SO FORTH. I'M SURE YOU GET IT. ON MONDAYS THERE WILL BE MUSIC.

TODAY I HAVE TWO SONGS. ONE IS THE SONG FROM WHICH THIS BLOG GETS ITS NAMED AND THE OTHER IS JUST A GOOD MONDAY SONG!!!

NINE INCH NAILS- YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL

THAT WAS A LITTLE DEPRESSING SO HERE'S THIS. 

THE BANGLES- MANIC MONDAY

HERE'S TO A HAPPY MANIC MONDAY!! 

FEELING STUCK...

THE MOMENTS IN BETWEEN ALL OF THE CHAOS MAKES
THIS WHOLE MOMMY OF 3 THING WELL WORTH IT. 

after i wrote my first post i told myself i was going to write 3-5 times a week. i haven't stuck to that. for one i was over thinking everything. i wasn't sure what i wanted to share, what was worth it, etc., etc. but anyways, now i'm telling myself just chill, let it flow. and then there's the other thing, i just can't find the time. i am either too busy or too tired all the time. three kids = no joke.

my husband (james) told me about a study he read that said moms of three children are the most stressed out of moms with any other number of kids. (sidenote: he looves studies, btw. he's always quoting a study to me,  he reads digg. blah, blah, blah. so he knows everything according to studies.) but whatever i really appreciated that one. i could totally use t ito my advantage. and since i've read the study i'm like duh, three kids is hella hard. lol. no i cant do anything extra (i.e. anything i don't want to do), i have three kids, haven't you heard its the most stressful number of kids to have?

nevertheless i've found some time and i'm here. i've also started keeping a journal so wherever i am, like at the park with the girls, and thoughts begin to flow i write. this whole thing has been quite therapeutic for me. it has forced me to take a minute to myself to do something for myself. it feels great!

HELLO!

I WASN'T SURE WHAT MY FIRST POST SHOULD BE ABOUT, SO TO BREAK THE ICE I DECIDED TO SHARE A BIT ABOUT THE PROCESS AND REASON FOR STARTING THIS LITTLE BLOG HERE.

I HAVE BEEN SCARED. FOR THE LAST SIX MONTHS I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO START A BLOG, AND A PODCAST THAT GIRLS LIKE ME COULD RELATE TO. WHILE SITTING AT A COMPUTER ALL DAY ENTERING DATA INTO A SPREADSHEET I WAS COMPLETELY UNDER STIMULATED.  I STARTED TO LISTEN TO PODCAST INSTEAD OF MUSIC WHILE I WORKED AND READ BLOGS ON BREAK AND WHEN I GOT HOME. I SORT OF BECAME OBSESSED WITH IT.

I WAS MISSING MY KIDS AND FEELING LIKE I COULD STEP MY WORKING MOM SKILLS UP SO I STARTED TO SEARCH FOR ONES ABOUT MOMS, WORKING MOMS. I FOUND A FEW I LIKED BUT NOTHING COMPLETELY RESONATED WITH ME. I AM A YOUNG BLACK MOM LIVING IN LOS ANGELES. MOST OF THE MATERIAL OUT THERE WAS AIMED AT OLDER MOMS, WHITE MOMS OR NEW YORK MOMS. AND BELIEVE ME I LOVE EVERY BIT OF WHAT I'VE COME ACROSS. BUT THERE WAS A LITTLE SOMETHING MISSING FOR ME. THE BIGGEST VOID I FELT CAME FROM THE OLDER MOM STUFF. I JUST COULD NOT RELATE. IT MADE ME FEEL A LITTLE INADEQUATE, UNPREPARED. SO I DECIDED I SHOULD JUST START MY OWN. TO TELL MY OWN STORY.  TIME PASSED AND WHILE AT MY DESK I WOULD COME UP WITH REALLY GREAT IDEAS,  HOWEVER AT THE END OF JUNE I WAS LAID OFF. THIS WAS A BLESSING AND A CURSE. I TOLD MYSELF THAT I WOULD  FINALLY START THIS VENTURE INTO THE BLOGOSPHERE THAT I HAD BEEN FANTASIZING ABOUT FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS. BUT REALITY SETTLED IN, ALL OF A SUDDEN I WAS A FULL TIME STAY AT HOME MOM OF 3, AGAIN.  AND MY KIDS WERE ON SUMMER BREAK. NEEDLESS TO SAY I COULDN'T (OR DIDN'T) FIND THE TIME TO START AND THE PROJECT WAS FURTHER DELAYED. THEN I PROMISED MYSELF THAT I WOULD START AS SOON AS THE GIRLS RETURNED TO SCHOOL.

SO HERE I AM TODAY WRITING MY FIRST ENTRY, ABOUT A MONTH LATE.  BUT I'M NO LONGER SCARED, I'M NOW READY. AND I WELCOME YOU  TO MY EMPIRE OF DERT. A PLACE WHERE I WILL SHARE THE FRILLS AND THRILLS AND LACK THEREOF OF A YOUNG L.A. MAMA TRYING TO HAVE IT ALL.